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Special Occasion Books
 
 
           
           
 
Retirement
 
 
   
 
     
 
 
 
   
 
 
   
 
 
   
 
 
   
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
   
 
 
Celebrate all those years you had your nose to the grindstone. Finally, it's time to relax and enjoy the good life. Delightfully funny yet unrefined, this book will amuse even the most cynical of retirees.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
   
 
 

Please Include:

  • Retiree's First Name
  • Llast Name
  • Gender
  • Hometown
  • Spouse's Name
  • Up to Three Friends
  • Up to Three Co-Workers
  • Favorite Activities
  • Place of Employment
  • Job Title
  • Number of Years on the Job
  • Date of Retirement
 
   
 
   
 
 
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
   
 
 

{Name Retiree Goes By}'s

Retirement

Roast

This book was written
in honor of

{Name Retiree Goes By} {Last Name}
to celebrate his retirement from

{Place of Employment}
{Date of Retirement}


{Dedication}
{Book From}
{Year of Gift}

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   
 
   
 
 

{Name Retiree Goes By} {Last Name} officially retired from {Place of Employment} on {Date of Retirement}. He had spent {Number of Years at Job} long, tough years on the job and was now looking forward to a change of pace. The adjustment from a hectic work schedule to a life of leisure would not be easy for {Name Retiree Goes By}. He was known to {2 or 3 Co-Workers} as a hard worker, one who could always be counted on regardless of the circumstances.

"Hey {Name Retiree Goes By}, have you finished that rush job that was due yesterday?"

One thing {Name Retiree Goes By} wouldn't miss was the daily grind. Getting up early each day, working all morning without a break, grabbing a quick lunch, and staying late at night would soon be a thing of the past. {Name Retiree Goes By} rarely took a day off and generally skipped his vacation to help {2 or 3 Co-Workers} at work.

{Name Retiree Goes By} often worked twelve hours and slept twelve hours. His boss was upset because they were the same twelve hours.

{Name Retiree Goes By} had had a long, distinguished career. His last job, {Job Title} at {Place of Employment} undoubtedly was one of the most important in the organization. {Name Retiree Goes By} often commented that they would have a tough time finding a replacement for him.

"You want a replacement for {Name Retiree Goes By}? What about that new kid in the mail room?"

Retirement would provide {Name Retiree Goes By} and {Spouses Name} with an opportunity to travel. Being a highly organized individual, {Name Retiree Goes By} could go anywhere at a moment's notice.

"{Name Retiree Goes By}, it says 'pack light,' not 'pack the light.' "

Retirement would also provide {Name Retiree Goes By} and {Spouses Name} with a chance to spend more time with {2 or 3 Family Members}. Being such a popular individual, {Name Retiree Goes By} wondered if he would ever have any time to himself.

"I don't care if your bags are already packed, {Name Retiree Goes By}. Could you at least wait until we invite you?"

{Name Retiree Goes By} was looking forward to a life of leisure. Relaxing mornings, pleasant lunches, peaceful strolls and time for his favorite activities, such as {Favorite Activity}, would fill his days. The daily grind would quickly be forgotten.

"Sorry {Name Retiree Goes By}, I don't care what the doctor ordered. You can't come back to work for a rest!"

While most people fear the economic uncertainties of retirement, {Name Retiree Goes By} and {Spouses Name} had nothing to worry about. {Name Retiree Goes By}'s motto was "A penny saved is a penny earned." His sound investments over the years had built a comfortable nest egg.

"How could I be out of money? I still have checks left!"

{Name Retiree Goes By}'s retirement get-together was attended by family and special friends. As always, {Name Retiree Goes By} tried to entertain everyone with stories about his achievements, however small. The enraptured crowd hung on his every word. They had to - it was his party!

"Thank goodness {Name Retiree Goes By} will only retire once!"


{Dedication}

{Book From}

{Year of Gift}

 
   
 
   
 
  ***New software updates may result in minor text changes***  
   
 
 
 

 

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